Why We Still Need Pride
To think I was just starting to feel like we’ve come so far.
When I came “out,” I had it
kind of rough like most people my generation who were going through it. I was a single, gay dad back in a time when
none of it was discussed, accepted, or supported. There were no role models yet
there was plenty of scrutiny. I felt alone most of the time, raising my
children, trying to build meaningful relationships, and managing my career.
My only solace were the few
gay bars that were fortunately close to my home in Bucks County PA, or the bars
I could go to when I was in New York City. At those bars I felt safe from the
stares, the rumors, and the comments about “my lifestyle.” I felt "home" there.
Twenty years later, living in
Manhattan, it certainly seems like attitudes and behaviors have significantly
changed for the better. I see same-sex couples walking down the streets holding
hands, I scan social media feeds filled with pictures of gay people out living
their lives, and I listen with glee at stories of marriage equality.
My own Facebook page is
filled with fellow gay fathers. I don’t feel alone anymore.
There are days when it feels
like we’ve come so far that perhaps we don’t even need to talk about it
anymore. Perhaps there’s no need for Gay Pride or Pride Month or Queer Voices on Huffington Post.
And then something like
Orlando happens.
Whatever it was or wasn’t and
whatever caused or didn’t cause it, the fact remains that gay people were
singled out and targeted. And they were forced off the planet.
These people were out
celebrating life with their friends. They were having a footloose Saturday
night. They were celebrating Gay Pride during Pride Month, just like me.
They were at a gay bar where
they felt safe to be themselves and to be with their friends.
Our gay bars are not so safe
anymore. We can’t feel safe in our “home” anymore.
It could have been me dancing
in that bar; it could have been anyone of us. Prejudice is one thing, but
prejudice with a gun and a malicious intent is quite another.
As I deal with my own grief
and sadness over this horrible tragedy, I realize that we do need Gay Pride
Month. And the Puerto Rican Pride Parade.
And Black History Month. And every other celebration of what makes each
of us unique and makes each of us equally human.
Equally human and equally
together.
Here I was thinking that perhaps
Pride Month is just nostalgic at this point, when it fact it’s never been more
important. There’s a reason why we celebrate Pride Month, and that is
abundantly clear to me now.
Celebrate with Pride, just
like all of those folks in Orlando were doing. In fact, let’s celebrate a
little harder this year.